What to Teach Children About Strangers
Kids see
strangers every day in stores, in the park, and in their neighborhoods. Most of
these strangers are nice, normal people, but a few may not be. Parents can
protect their children from dangerous strangers by teaching them about
strangers and suspicious behavior, and by taking a few precautions of their
own.
Who is a stranger? A
stranger is anyone that your family doesn’t know well. It’s common for children
to think that “bad strangers” look scary, like the villains in cartoons. This
is not only not true, but it’s dangerous for children to think this way. Pretty
strangers can be just as dangerous as the not-so-pretty ones. When you talk to
your children about strangers, explain that no one can tell if strangers are
nice or not nice just by looking at them and that they should be careful around
all strangers. But don't
make it seem like all strangers are bad. If children need help--whether they’re
lost, being threatened by a bully, or being followed by a stranger--the safest
thing for them to do in many cases is to ask a stranger for help. You can make
this easier for them by showing them which strangers are okay to trust.
Who are safe
strangers? Safe strangers are people children can ask for help
when they need it. Police officers and firefighters are two examples of very
recognizable safe strangers. Teachers, principals, and librarians are adults
children can trust too, and they are easy to recognize when they’re at work.
But make sure that you emphasize that whenever possible, children should go to
a public place to ask for help. You can
help your children recognize safe strangers by pointing them out when you’re
out in your town. Also show your children places they can go if they need help,
such as local stores and restaurants and the homes of family friends in your
neighborhood.
Recognizing and
Handling Dangerous Situations Perhaps the most important way parents can
protect their children is to teach them to be wary of potentially dangerous
situations – this will help them when dealing with strangers as well as with
known adults who may not have good intentions. Help children recognize the
warning signs of suspicious behavior, such as when an adult asks them to
disobey their parents or do something without permission, asks them to keep a
secret, asks children for help, or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way.
Also tell your children that an adult should never ask a child for help, and if
one does ask for their help, teach them to find a trusted adult right away to
tell what happened. You
should also talk to your children about how they should handle dangerous
situations. One ways is to teach them “No, Go, Yell, Tell.” If in a dangerous
situations, kids should say no, run away, yell as loud as they can, and tell a
trusted adult what happened right away. Make sure that your children know that
it is okay to say no to an adult in a dangerous situation and to yell to keep
themselves safe, even if they are indoors. It’s good to practice this in
different situations so that your children will feel confident in
knowing know what to do. Here are a few possible scenarios:
A nice-looking stranger approaches your child in the park and asks for
help finding the stranger's lost dog.
A woman who lives in your neighborhood but that the child has never
spoken to invites your child into her house for a snack.
A stranger asks if your child wants a ride home from school.
Your child thinks he or she is being followed.
An adult your child knows says or does something that makes him or her
feel bad or uncomfortable.
While your child is walking home from a friend’s house, a car pulls over
and a stranger asks for directions.
What Else Parents Can Do In addition to teaching children how to
recognize and handle dangerous situations and strangers, there are a few more
things parents can do to help their children stay safe and avoid dangerous
situations.
Know where your children are at all times. Make it
a rule that your children must ask permission or check in with you before going
anywhere. Give your children your work and cell phone numbers so they can reach
you at all times.
Point out safe places. Show your children
safe places to play, safe roads and paths to take, and safe places to go if
there’s trouble.
Teach children to trust their instincts. Explain
that if they ever feel scared or uncomfortable, they should get away as fast as
they can and tell an adult. Tell them that sometimes adults they know may make
them feel uncomfortable, and they should still get away as fast as possible and
tell another adult what happened. Reassure children that you will help them
when they need it.
Teach your children to be assertive. Make
sure they know that it’s okay to say no to an adult and to run away from adults
in dangerous situations.
Encourage your
children to play with others. There’s safety in numbers!
Missing Children
In reality
abduction is very rare, but children do go missing - in shopping centres, on
holiday and from home - usual they are only gone for a few minutes as their
bearings and your location become familiar again. On occasion children go
missing because of parental disputes, and most missing children are with
someone they know - what ever the reason here are some simple important steps
you could take - in preparation and practise. It is a good idea to have a file of your
children’s identity - information such as date of birth, and birth certificate,
any distinguishing marks, social security number, physical description and an
up-to-date photo, school information, places you/they like to frequent, places
your child likes to hang out – eating and or play areas, their friends, and
adults they admire or have talked about recently.
•
If you fear your child is missing take these steps-
·
Call the police immediately - the first hour is
critical
·
Remember what they are wearing
·
Where they have been or talked about going- Who
they are with - their friends
·
What were their movements over the last 48 hours
·
Did they mention any problems, anxieties - about
themselves or their friends?
·
Call their mobile phone - even if they do not
answer, its location can be traced by the police and phone company
·
Check your child’s recent Internet links
·
Contact friends, school, hospital, youth club etc
·
Avoid self criticism and analysis - focus on
finding your child
·
NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!
